by on

START OF EMBEDDED BONUS BOOK

By Jim Meirose

OK. OK. This here flows the muspascat-taculan room used for musing up only.

There you go here you are pull that up and sit click down as;

This flows get inside now please yes Mommy yes the muspascat-taculan room used for musing only.

This the muspascat-taculan room used for only.   Canada’s the root source of most rotary conversations knuckle-knuckle                                    insert size medium plath cementeriannatipn here and return in ten  minutes

This muspascat-taculan room get inside now please dinner’s ready get inside yes Mommy yes used only.

This room click only. (and once in hair-up yes bones oh yes doctor Smith oh yes and oh yes yes yes yes doctor Smith doctor Smith yes yes yes go by that time it’s not hard set up immediately call for  heavily armed back up head’s great, great uncle *what’s that spell what’s that spell* why Gregor that spells there’s a Gregor in the house eh get inside now please dinner’s ready why the hell’s heavens s’ you taking o long want a whipping do you must be looking for a whipping get inside yes Mommy yes eh eh e there a—ooooooooo GREGOR IN THE HOUSE A ONCEANDFORALLIAN GREGOR IN THE HOUSE sure it hurts what you think sure it hurts, but we got to do it anyway okay all-rat yer-ass sure sure sure it’s I got to do it anyway you happy now get inside now please dinner’s ready why the hell’s heavens s’ you taking o long want a whipping do you must be looking for a whipping get inside yes Mommy yes Sneezie, it’s not we got to BackWhang! BackWhang! do it it’s just ME got to do it not we but ME ME only and not we but but I can’t see the difference’s a rat anypipe, since we go in they’ll do nothing just watch me do want a whipping a good beating then a whipping do you must be looking for a whipping get inside yes Mommy yes everything Yes I built three new warehouses BackWhang! on time and in budget no no liar liar it was US did it all you just sat-fat, and watched hey hey  Yes I built ten thousand approximately little Black Bakelite boxes on time and in budget | buy me a set of size large purplish trousers | no no liar liar it was US did it all you just sat-fat, and watched hey hey we keep the whippings and the beatings in there BackWhang! but be sure to set them down slowly on our universally credited silver-starred pallets  Yes I launched thirteen huge hulls at my shipyard on time and in budget click click click no no liar liar it was US did it all using such devices keeps them fresh keeps them holy you just sat-fat, and watched hey hey no no yes yes no no its maybe maybe no no its yes yes yes yes no no no apportion these back there properly please we forgot we forgot but better late than never

tight slacks or tight trousers big sofa or davenport rocker-recliner please we’re here for hats not hose (particuluplarre)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there we’re sure that’s enough if there’r spares do not trouble to return to inventory for NO its not yes yes no maybe pay two dollars please ; .. ,,    I want to keep them fresh and holy Mommy just like you do I also want to too

  •     1 2 3 4 I pock-mark do not get the gas you need to get the gas I don’t the seals have been broken they can’t be reinventoried so just donate just d. gas you usually do so go get it if we need it that is if you get it when we don’t need it an accident may push out some stem and BLAST’s what may happen so—avoid that at all costs.                          why is it as I look at you I can actually see your whole brain stem                    ding!

                                                   before eating that one there needs a series of evenly spaced good heavy beatings

h ‘”]{+   GET GAS getting gas’s below me oh yah that there’s way up-top you and looks like they’re getting gas ha ha ha      when mother calls and you don’t come in expect a good slap in the face (the bare minimum)  Barry        swivel!                            swivel!       like this Daddy? “ ., yes like that {behold the McIntyres’ brand new Wok} swivel swivel       Wow! Look! Are those fighter planes?           do {of which they are so proud} the gauges say we’re full UP yet do day Daddy what do the gauges say            ar       ne beeo enough in, DADDY?   is that you Barry? Is that really, really you?

                                               are we in deep enough now

swivel-pivot

I hope so

                                            no you don’t son hope doesn’t count as a strategy round-about here and environs

Nancy!

What?

Graddieo-o-oooookslaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. Meestah Bo-Peepula’s windows (yah?) grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr couch glandular couches meest’s glandular couches the name of the {which will in their service serve up all future dishes wonderfully hot} conditions who’s condition why your condition of course you’re the one strapped to the machine not I see I am here and you are there and taken together we may be presumed so | Up there! Look up there! They’re so loud! Must be fighter planes! | but that does not mean it is I with the condition by my God and by my word I had such a terrible condition as you, why—I’d immediately drop everything and go get my head examined eh eh eh eh they say quite often to the deviating in some sometimes every very minor way, crap g’eon shit go get your head examined DOC we think here quite securely you need your head examined, yes, no indifferently (write this down skoal) there {I got a date w’ a bunny out back o’ the laundromat} yours appears to be still on (write a checkmark under agency name there skoal {Christ, Ross, a checkmark cannot be an agency name reconsider *} while the patient goes on strapped in patiently waiting having faith in DoC Pantunnio’s pock-mark sheepskin “hung on their wall” saying in script this that and ten others this is indeed the son of God  Yup, yup; yup yup yup yup yup yupyupyu[pock-mark pock-mark pock-mark pock pyu[yu[ in that paragraph there honey that’s there go read it |split| tgilasr-trinckular-r-r-r-ianne JESUS Christ, my back itches God DAMN God-d-d-DAMN there’s a tree by this here you may rub it ? this here what this here ? Is your name Lillian James? If so, then, I’ve that there this here ? oh oh those this here’s over there wait no I will go I will go I will go o’er there I will get one * say wise in the cemetery by the Louthurralianne’s churchery I will go get one see? See those there? I swear to God it was one of these graves right round here like a record baby round round right round + oh and so I need that large of a surgery Doc? how far out around when one says right round here how right round are we talking? “?. are we talking just one next grave all around ‘vry direction but {excuse me my friend here and I would each like a few more “injections” of that please and/or thi(a)nk you} why the hell’s such a simple condition required that huge of a surgery Doc doublecheck that out please Doc uh oh please this one here ah I {yes almost just almost but this grave here’s where ‘e count needs to start from +oh yah and okay just shut up and stand corrected surgery Doc?shit surgery Doc? that’s the problem with you and this pack-o-chaps with you, you can’t Navarronned ‘lly just (the guns just the guns) shut the hell up and simply stand corrected  o no no n no no now 998&&&$ yes it does matter which grave gets dug in the center ‘cause the anomaly’s there’s that years back in a visit the marker was a quietly unusual wrought iron custom-made cross full of curlicues. See? See? And all painted black in a suit of  glossy Rustoleum you know you can picture the kind of black painted wrought iron curlicues what when you rub your finger down them you detect tiny bumps tits and otherwisely defectivities all over the wrought iron, and there was so, so much more to see and to know about it what an interesting grave marker what an interesting on’ BUT it is gone now.

What? My God, no. That is terrible.

Yes terrible, And, where it is now is, a mystery.

Sure is yes, sure is.

I really want to see it but it seems no longer there.

What a pity.

No longer there.

A pity.

Not there.

Pitiful.

Yes. BackWhang!

Yes.

Yes pitiful Party! Oh, *## simply stand simply stand simply END OF EMBEDDED BONUS BOOK

by on

This curious poem/document was sent to the CEO and is certainly worth our publishing. It was created by one D Seth Horton. He explains its nature below (slightly paraphrased).

“Here are a series image-texts that are all centered on the U.S.-México border, which can be related to your recent interest in Carlos Castaneda given that his work was situated in the borderlands.

The text is sourced from various U.S. Customs and Border Patrol documents.  In terms of composition, I deleted most of the original material until I was left with the poem that had previously been hidden within the bureaucratese.  To be clear, I added no words, punctuation, or capital letters to the body of these poems, nor did I change the original word order in any way.  Instead, I simply erased what was in the way and then moved the words that remained into appropriate line breaks. 

Other than my drawing, the images all come from the National Archives.

In case readers are interested in comparing “my” texts against the original source material, I have included notes at the end of my submission with all the necessary details.”

Biography

 D. Seth Horton’s work has appeared in more than forty publications, including the Michigan Quarterly Review and Glimmer Train. Two of his stories have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. His latest book is a forthcoming collection of stories set throughout the U.S.-Mexico borderlands entitled, On a NASA Flight to Heaven (TCU Press, 2024). He currently teaches creative writing and American literature at the University of Virginia. 

by on

 Physician! Heal Thyself!   By Jim Meirose

                                                          

Two worked the lab conkulating the document trove brought back from the Doc-doctor M-m-m-m-oon’s desk—the late doctor, that is. The mission being frying his madcap t’ween all his patients, the very Lon Carpre.

That Lon Carpre?

Yas uv course, Yas that one.

Huh.

Huh’s right but let us get going mein leben; Document ten of some few less than too many fragments catalogued, date time name date and place—gones goes went thusly it seems which nothing is as; archery; so ‘t’s how his headtop pancaked down flat. Coming to after that he failed to speak. Unless spoken to. Which was seldom since he—he was in essence, a mostly uninteresting person. Sort of like before the trauma but different. Deeper. Deep. There is quiet. Then deep quiet, then—deeper quiet. There is no deepest; it can always get deeper. His no yes so to be but—that’s not how they raised him. At least they thought they didn’t. They wanted the best for him. They wanted him to—I mean, really. It really must be said? Aw crack fizzle, no. Too obvious. Much too so, so. After all how many get chosen for praise by the head priest? Being close to God he must smell some truth. He must be able to smell one smell apart from the others. What these mean. And why these were put there. Don’t waste. Do not waste. Push pull and push pull and it will begin to open and he saw it there. On that wall off sides from that kitchen sink and drainboard unit cast together in one piece. They don’t make factories can do that any more. Where would you even get such a thing? Is always the question. You are good at this, Lon, so do it—and likewise very good at that—how ‘bout that too? And faithful be, too. Be too here is your purpose its lights out.

Yes.

Lights out. Why’s this been done. Is this another test—got to see the way—for lack of what the right thing to do is don’t sit don’t just sit do—this. This will do as a right thing for now. See the dark ahead cracking? Bright slivers there now here uh gone from there and here but—through that ahead space there’re bound to be more. Butt through. But through there he—or what? Maybe look harder. Look harder. But through there he sits. It is a he, right—a he with a yellow pad knee up and writing. As I—I am talking no. Shut up ‘cause wrong things behind are always straining to be said. By Peter! Wrong things behind are always straining to be said. So nothing, say nothing, be nothing, don’t be. Hot gravy, wow! I have burnt my hand Mom I have burnt my hand ah—her touch. Across here’s the store Lon. Across here. Here’s the store. We’re here. We’re here. We can get what we want in here. So come on—fully sat before this—I might yes be a man see? Fully sat now once in the store might yes this be a man, see? Where is she though who led me in. She’s off someplace buying. That is why she came. She came to buy. Top buy. Why come with someone when they’re just going here to buy so what brings you here to me Lon? What brings you here to me. Being led here’s the answer. Being led from back when no; no not back it has been too hard this first time don’t want to do it again so answer the man, Well Lon, that was a question. That how you were raised Lon? That how you were raised?

No.

I don’t know really. Why I am here now.

Good, that’s all right. You are here to find out. Here to find-out.

‘kay.

I’m told you fear—something. That right Lon; ‘es no yes wow, Lon. I am was and always will be, Lon. He is right about that much. That much being right, that I am Lon, and that that in that right Lon could be anything at all—a variable word like an x y or z—he is right yes he’s right so—

Lon!

—oh yes sir, that’s right.

Now he ’d,  You don’t but a black patch diagonalled over him, damn them. Damn them. They say that these will fade, but still and all, damn them!

I’m sorry, say that again, please.

Black patch gooey round float up dip past him and only I could catch the end we are friends—yah he said it that’s good maybe yes certainly yes, that is good say That’s good.

I know, he said. But now—Lon what do you fear so much that’s why then black slab cut bottom to top you here. Can you tell me?

The question what’s the question all wrapped up black uhhhhh tell true the questions I don’t know it so the honest answer is—no. I can’t sir.

I said you don’t have to blob up rip the word gone.

Don’t have to what?

Call me sir! It would be nice Lon if you zzzz pai  zzzzzzztention.

I don’r know what you mean.

How many things can that mean Lon ?

But I don’t know what the that is, sir.

Off! Penciltap hard in the pad roll the eyes back but—to his credit he did, catch himself. Catch himself so. Even though it was rude, it—wasn’t that rude—and.

And and dna an nd – I ah oh u be and drop out.

Had to drop it out there. Too hard to concentrate. Too hard, Blast. Be the blast death of me not just but ‘nybody. Perchsn’ce.

And that is all for today.

Signed and dated by Dr. B. Moon all flowy enscripted after but only one slight flourish, then Good-Night. File this with the rest of the proof. File this with the rest of the evidence file this with. That we’ve filed this with. Plus there’s more to come.

How long before the whole document’s analyzed and findings available?

Probably through ‘ent the end of the year.

This year?

Look, turning.

Now. What kind of damned question is that?

Bad one?

Bad one.